i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize