In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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