I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
