I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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