jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize