Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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