have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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