naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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