fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
