hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
smell my finger.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
