Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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