Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
