he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
