Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I pour the whiskey from now on
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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