i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
