But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I want to make a zoo with you.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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