when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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