matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
