I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
