i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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