Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
