Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
