as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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