i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize