i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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