I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
