Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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