First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
