You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
