His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
