btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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