You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
