I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You need Xanax blowdarts
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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