so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
