i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
