She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize