My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
