My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
