I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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