In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize