I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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