I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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