ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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