This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
