i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
