How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
