Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
