Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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