i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
