Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
