For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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