There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
