quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
