ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
