You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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