my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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