cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
