Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
