Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
