peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
