So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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