I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How's work?
Spinning.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
