too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
