Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
