gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
